Hello Lovely LJ Friends!
Often, online journals are used for venting our daily frustrations....and this is a valid use in itself. However, for all the joys of ranting for paragraphs about what is wrong with the world, our lives, people who offend us, etc. it is perhaps more difficult to say what is right, what is pleasing, what keeps us going through the trials and difficulties of Life. So today I present to you...... "Eleven Things Which I am In Love With." Should it be your will, I hope you will reply in kind, in whatever style of expression you choose. Enjoy!
- Finding just the right gift for a friend, and the look in her/his eyes when s/he receives it
- Becoming One with music. Either dancing or singing, the endless moment when the music and I cease communicating with each other and are one thing
- Yoga, both the joys of being in a yoga class and the joys of knowing which asana, form of pranayama, meditation, or combination thereof to do at a particular moment...knowing what is needful at the time
- The feeling of Communication of Soul experienced when I see and/or hear a work of art (music, film, book, etc) that resonates within me
- Research and Discovery. Finding how or why something works, as well as where it comes from
- Introspection and Alone time
- Forgiving and being forgiven
- Diversity of perspective. I am so fortunate in my life to have such a variety of friends, and the benefits gained from perspectives that don't necessarily agree with my own are countless.
- Being with the sea
So, when M came home tonight I was in the middle of drilling some belly dance moves. He walked into the room and gave a hardy catcall at me. I put Asharah on pause and tried to explain to him that I was not doing drills to look good - that this was hard work, I'd been at it for over an hour and he should _be_ my shoulder muscles right then. (Asharah's Tribal DVD has you holding a high arm position for ALL of the drills --- le'ouch).
He got very offended that I'd criticized his catcalling, as it had been meant to flatter/compliment me.
Admittedly, I have mentioned in the past that I like to know if I look good at times..... a bit of affirmation that the fires are still going despite us being with each other for almost 10 years now. So yes, I have encouraged him to let me know if he thinks I look good before we go out, etc.
Is it too much for me to expect him to differentiate when I'm working hard and don't want to feel like I'm being leered at and when I've just spent 45 mins getting dressed and doing my hair/make-up and want to feel like I'm being leered at?
Am I being a silly bugger here?
Please be honest. I don't have any perspective here, so bring it on! :)
One of the things I've enjoyed immensely about living in Leeds (West Yorkshire, United Kingdom) is learning contemporary British slang - words, phrases, colloquialisms, and, after a few years, the variances in these throughout the UK.
The Hallamshire Glossary" by Joseph Hunter (1811) tells us the following:
"CHUCK. This word has various significations, not referable to the same root. It is a chicken; a term of endearment: 'Be innocent of the knowledge, dearest chuck / Till thou applaud the deed.' Macbeth,III.2."
Now for some reason, when my dear friend Beth calls me 'chuck' I find it adorable. But I still cannot stand the phrase 'hen party' to mean a bachelorette party. Hmmm...
...Good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." the 11th Doctor Who
Which is by way of introducing this installment of...
...wait for it...
...Random Good Things.
1) Last night while standing in front of the bathroom mirror brushing out my hair, wearing the vintage slip I wear to bed, The Sweety said I looked like Veronica Lake. I looked her up this morning:
Gosh, thanks Michael!
2) Brendan Perry's new album is excellent. In particular, "Utopia," which he chose to be the demo song of the album, is a perfectly realised piece:
3) I am finally beginning to 'get' the overshimmy on relevé. This is a bellydance move that is used a lot in Tribal Fusion, and it's one that, though not technically that difficult, has been eluding me. Drill drill drill....
4) Nellie liked the shirt I got for (toddler) Michael. Relief and happy - I love it when a gift comes together. :)
5) In less than two weeks I will be at GothlaUK, watching performances by and studying with Morgana, Ariellah, Amethystine and others...arguably the best gothic oriental and gothic tribal fusion dancers in the world. Yeah!
Okay, your turn!
Love is the law, love under will.
...Walking through a carpark, I notice a sheer cliff face overlooking the Gulf of Mexico.
--->flashframe, and I'm hanging off ot the cliff face by my fingernails. I slip slightly, and notice the grooves in the earth my fingernails make.
I consider screaming for help, but I am putting all of my strength into my hands and fingers. I look up and call out in a normal speaking voice for help, pleading more with my eyes than my voice.
People are walking in the carpark, getting into/out of their cars, and utterly ignoring the woman hanging off of the cliff, about to plummet down and be swallowed by the 5-7foot waves. I note in particular groups and individual men who look quite strong, as if pulling me up wouldn't be much effort or hassle for them (I'm 6'1" and therefore not easy to haul up over a cliff face). Finally, a group of four old women approach the cliff and help me up. One of them is in a wheelchair, and it is her who reaches out to me, and her hands that do the majority of the work pulling me up. I find this odd, but do not argue, as eventually I am safely lying on the ground above the sea.
One of the old ladies dies in the attempt to save me; an ambulance takes her body away.
---->flashframe, and I'm on a boat. There's a moment where I think that I should be nervous/afraid, since I almost drowned and the sea (Gulf) is very, very rough. I am on a small platform that serves as the 'upper deck' of the boat - sort of like a crow's nest but on a power- rather than a sailboat. The driver is going very fast, waves crash around us, the water is very rough. It is excellent. I rejoice in how much I absolutely love being out on the water; my spirit flies with joy as I fly over the water.
---->flashframe, and the water calms down as we navigate a series of canals. People are lounging in swimwear in the back gardens of the houses and condominiums that overlook the canals. I smile in the sunshine and wave at them like I am a monarch passing by on a Mardi Gras float [note to non-NOLA folk: each Mardi Gras crewe has a different King and/or Queen each year, who ride the most elaborate float in the parade(s)].
A few things stuck out in my mind during and after this dream, as if they were the most important aspects:
1) None of the able-bodied-looking men saved me. A group of 4 old ladies, and, specifically, one in a wheelchair, did.
2) I LOVE the water. I love being on a boat on the water. I love it despite the dangers, and nothing could scare me away from loving the Beeeg Vaaater.
We, researchers at the Macaulay Land use Research Institute, would like to invite you to answer an electronic questionnaire about your everyday experiences with the environment, nature and well-being. Please click on the following link to read more information about the questionnaire and to take part in the study:
Hello LJFriends! If you have a few minutes, please help a friend out with his research. Cheers! k@
PS --- posting this whilst super-busy at work. I am not sure if it a region-specific/country-specific research project - but I'm sure it'll say on the frontispage. Ta, k@
It's the birthday of Sigmund Freud, (books by this author) born Sigismund Schlomo Freud in the town of Příbor, in what is now the Czech Republic (1856). His parents were Jewish, and his father was a wool merchant; they didn't have much money, but they wanted the best for their intelligent son. He went to medical school at the University of Vienna, and worked with Josef Breuer, who made a breakthrough discovery when he hypnotized a young woman who had been diagnosed with what was then called hysteria. When she was hypnotized, the woman talked freely, and she herself named it "the talking cure." Freud adopted the talking cure and eventually realized that this sort of talking could happen even without hypnosis. Whether hypnotized or not, patients would discuss whatever was going through their minds, and he would analyze their words and decide what was causing their issues, usually past experiences. Freud was particularly interested in dreams, childhood trauma, and sexual experiences as ways to understand the patient's unconscious motives and desires. Once it was refined, Freud's method of practice came to be known as psychoanalysis, and he ushered in a new era in psychology. And his books, with their heavy emphasis on sex, were very popular.
These days, Freud has gone out of fashion, at least in the scientific and psychology communities. Freud considered himself a scientist. He said, "The poets and philosophers before me discovered the unconscious; what I discovered was the scientific method by which the unconscious can be studied." Freud's conclusions were always controversial, but by the mid-20th century, the idea that his work was actually science was becoming controversial as well. He did not, in fact, use the scientific method, in the sense that the claims of psychoanalysis can't be disproved — they aren't falsifiable.
Today, there are only about 20,000 Americans in Freudian-style psychoanalysis, just over 1 percent of people in therapy.
But whether or not he is taken seriously in psychology and scientific communities in the way he intended, there is no doubt that Freud's cultural influence is huge. Most people will never read his books, but they know about penis envy, the Oedipus complex, phallic symbols, the id and superego, and the famous "Freudian slip." And most people accept the basic idea that our minds are capable of repressing traumatic experiences or feelings, and that there is benefit in talking about them. We encourage people who have undergone traumatic experiences to discuss them, even if they have to get at painful feelings or facts that they have hidden from themselves — that is such a normal idea that it doesn't seem Freudian anymore. Many people casually acknowledge that the way they were parented effects their own patterns of behavior later in life — again, not going down the extreme road of Freud's Oedipus complexes, but the basic idea comes from him.
And everyone seems to have an opinion about Freud, including some famous writers:
John Irving said: "Sigmund Freud was a novelist with a scientific background. He just didn't know he was a novelist. All those damn psychiatrists after him, they didn't know he was a novelist either."
W.H. Auden wrote a long poem called "In Memory of Sigmund Freud," which maybe best captures how deeply Freud and his ideas have permeated culture. He wrote:
If some traces of the autocratic pose,
the paternal strictness he distrusted, still
clung to his utterance and features,
it was a protective coloration
for one who'd lived among enemies so long:
if often he was wrong and, at times, absurd,
to us he is no more a person
now but a whole climate of opinion
under whom we conduct our different lives:
Like weather he can only hinder or help.
1) Dracula and Mina, Buffy and Angel, Sookie and Bill, even *shudder shudder* Bella and Eddie -- is the whole modern vampire appeal just thinly veiled older man / much younger woman scenario? The man so much older and supposedly wiser, established and by appearances not so blown around by the winds of chaos that blow through mortal life --- the woman barely post-pubescent, fresh, new, impetuous, and of course, physically beautiful but perhaps a bit groundless - quite blown about by aforementioned winds. When researching and writing about the vampire mythos in University (oh the joys of your topics when you are an English major with Film & Crit thrown in for seasoning!) I frequently pointed to the appeal of vampires (note: this is Stoker and post- vamps - before he romanticised them they were different creatures entirely) as being a combination of sexy (blood=life=sex; it's a rather obv meta) and immortal (because who wouldn't want an extra couple of hundred years of youth to learn to dance and play the piano really, really well?). But looking at recent vampire/human couples, I have to wonder if I missed an aspect in my previous analyses.
2) If you were dying and knew your time limit, do you think your tendency would be to enjoy the guts out of whatever life you had left to you before you got very sick and died, or to become bitter and angry that you only had so much life left? If anyone actually reads this far and answers this Q, be honest.